asdf

(no subject)

The Best Out of Office Auto Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many "in-duh-viduals" did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Adam' instead of 'Margaret'.
asdf

(no subject)

I would also like to say that for my next tattoo I'd like to get something different. Like 2 gay men humping tattooed on my ass. I think that's hot. 2 men having sex. I really do.

Speaking of gay men, where are you jason and george. Georgie I miss you and want to see you soon. Will you take me on a date and show me a fine time?
asdf

(no subject)



You Are From Venus



You love all forms of beauty. You love dressing up and anything luxurious.
A social butterfly, you're incredibly popular and a great host.
You're known for your fairness and affection. And as a frind to all.
Careful though! You're desire to please may make you too willing to conform.
Be yourself. Focus on what matters to you. You'll be all the more popular for it.


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